And Now For Something Completely Different!

How people perceive grooming: As with any animal-related job, people seem to think pet grooming involves rolling around on the floor being kissed by dozens of puppies, happy dogs engulfed in suds, and preened pets getting prissed on the salon tables. Everyone loves their job because with a description like that, who wouldn’t?

What grooming is really like: Simply put, there is blood. Every day.

A typical client:

Polly Prissypants walks into the salon and asks about our services.

“How much to groom my dog?”

“What breed?”

“10 lbs.”

“No, what breed?”

“Teacup.”

“...”

After an exchange a preschooler should be able to understand, we’ve determined Miss Pants’s dog is a Yorkie. Missy Prissypants is 6 months old and has never been groomed. Or seen a brush.

“Do you brush her at home?”

“Oh she got out over the weekend and she came back looking like this.”

“...”

Your groomer knows when you’re lying. In order to look like she does, Missy would have had the greatest weekend of her life.

Now to determine the type of cut.

 “I’d like her to look like this photo.”

“She’s matted to the skin; I can try and salvage-“

“PHOTO”

Polly turns to leave.

“Enjoy your spa day, my precious little butt dumpling!”

Humans, for the most part, enjoy getting cleaned and pampered and consider a real spa day to be a treat. Dogs think completely different. In the grooming salon there are tons of new sounds, smells, people, and objects to overwhelm and terrify them. Their stink, their comfort zone, is being completely removed and replaced by flowery, fruity stinks that they do not enjoy. They will do anything they can to get away.

The biggest annoyance in the salon: the windows. People allow their kids to pound their little fists on the glass, or even knock on it themselves to get the cute little poochie on the other side to look at them.

Some people also take the opportunity to stand at the end of a groomer’s table and watch for an uncomfortable amount of time because they feel they’re “protecting” the dog by watching the groomer like a hawk and running to management at the slightest struggle.

Unless fists are violently connecting with canine faces, don’t do this. Dogs need to be trained in the salon, too. Making any dog freak out on the table when clippers or sharp shears are involved is always a bad idea. Chances are the groomer knows what she’s doing, so you can take a glance and walk away relaxed.

Be this person: “Hi, I’m dropping Missy off. Here’s a photo of what I’d like her to look like.”

“She’s matted to the skin; I’ll probably have to shave her down.”

“Oh, ok, I trust your judgement! You went to school after all. I’ll make sure to purchase a brush and keep her de-matted between groomings from now on.”

“Great! And in a few months we’ll be able to get a Yorkie pattern started on her as her hair grows out!”